Advice on Failure
By Staff at Student Services
Look at things in perspective. Challenge negative thinking by analysing what you did right. Failure is part of learning, and you should give yourself credit for what went well as well as reflecting on what should be improved.
How to cope if:
- I failed an exam/assignment/module?
All St Andrews students are used to being the smartest and the most successful, and coming to the University of St Andrews where everyone is equally smart may be tough at first. The first thing to remind yourself is that you have already made it here, and that is the first reason why you just can’t be a failure. University is about learning and, instead of giving up, you should learn from your mistakes and aspire to do better next time. Speak to your tutor, get advice from a CAPOD adviser, and focus on learning, not dwelling on your failures.
- My research/experiment failed?
Experiments fail all of the time. Read some real life stories from academics here. However, remember that a failure of an experiment does not equal a failure of a student. View it as a part of the learning curve. The time wasn’t wasted, because you learnt something. Simply because you started with a target, and then ended up with a completely different result from what you expected does not make you a failure in academia. So keep experimenting!
- I feel like a social failure?
The drinking scene at university campuses can create an environment where students feel like they should drink to socialise better, and it is not true. Some of the students choose not to drink, which they may see as being an issue for their social life. It is not. It is your choice, and your true friends will not make you drink. University is about making memories, and memories are not limited to pubs and bars.
Some students may feel like a social failure after their first breakups. Many people jump into their first relationships once they get into university, and then find breaking up difficult. There is no shame in being upset for a while, seek support from your friends, come speak to Student Services, join a society. Even though St Andrews is famous for its match-making reputation, there is a lot more to this University than just that.
- I feel homesick?
Almost every student finds it difficult to move away from the formed friend groups back at home, and may struggle to create new social groups in the University environment. Don’t actively look for friends; instead, do things that you find interesting, and that way you will meet people who share the same interests as you. Enjoy playing ping-pong? Join the Table Tennis Club. Want to try Ballroom Dancing? Sign up for classes with St Andrews Ballroom Dancing Society. Spending time on your hobbies will help you focus on the here and now instead of feeling upset from being separated from your friends and family back at home.
- I struggle with sharing accommodation with strangers (shared room in hall/flat)?
It’s not unusual for individuals in a shared flat not to get on with each other. In any group of, say, five strangers some are likely not to hit it off. The problem might well lie with your flatmates, not with you. What is going on in their lives? What is bugging them? What emotional baggage do they carry? Sharing a flat is likely to be a new situation for all of them – all are struggling to cope with a new environment. It’s not so much that sometimes people fail in this circumstance – sometimes the expectations are too high/unrealistic.
- I ran for a position in a society committee/class representative elections/hall committee, but didn’t get it?
First, give yourself credit for actually putting yourself out there and running in the first place. Less than 30% of the student body has the courage to do that. Second, it is democracy, and people are free to elect who they want, but you should remember it is not personal. You not being elected does not mean that people don’t like you, there are several external factors coming into play.
- I applied for an internship/job/graduate position, but didn’t get it?
Everything is an experience, and competition may be tough. Think to yourself “Did I do everything I could?” You may have done everything to your ability, but your set of skills and knowledge may not fit what the employer was looking for. Just like with the elections, it is not personal. It may be even for the best, because doing a job that doesn’t fit you would bring more dissatisfaction than you can imagine. If you need additional help, visit the Careers Centre website.